Sunday, March 3, 2013

Sadness...

I have been OVERWHELMED with sadness.  So overwhelmed, I am thinking I need to go to the doctor to discuss it.  So overwhelmed, that I'm not getting done what I need to.  So overwhelmed that I am crying.  Daily.  Multiple times for multiple reasons.  Because I love my mom so much.  But I love her so much that when I try to write about it, I end up in pieces.  Because I love the people at my job so much that when they are hurting, so am I.  And when I cannot reach inside the cute little selves of "my kids" and reach them, I feel like a failure.  And when those people at my job build me up, I cry from the love I feel.

I am tired of the sadness.  What to do?  Well, try to fix it.  What will make this go away?  Maybe nothing.  Maybe something.  I need to try try try.  Okay.  I miss my people, so I need to read my blogs; they're my friends and I need to connect with them because when I fall behind, I feel sad.  Okay.  I need to write.  I think I really need to write for MYSELF to complete MYSELF.  That is a revelation cause I never ever viewed myself as a writer or as having a desire to be a writer.  I'm not sure why that is because it isn't such a leap... I'm an amazing story teller.  Okay.  I need to create time for my faith, instead of sleep.  I need to work out, cause the endorphins will give me POWER, HAPPY POWER!  Okay.  I need to bring my home into focus.  Not so much the Feng Shui thing but to get my home into an order that gives me peace.  Steps.  Resolutions.  I've come full circle.

I'm inspired now; just need some tunes and my people around me to help and not complain.  Well, at least now that thought has me laughing!  Thank you.  Just being here helps.

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