Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sorry I've been missing...

It's been 19 days since I posted.  I get up in the morning with a strong desire to write, but I've tasks to finish so I don't allow myself this writing pleasure.  I cannot go on like this, not writing.  I have much to say about so many things.

**If you are moving a student into college this fall, this may or may not be the post for you.**

I'm living on borrowed time.  Teen boy leaves in 20 days.  Our job is to grow them up and out; this is the moment we've been waiting for and also dreading.  This summer, with him, has been a blend of typical "leaving for college" annoying attitude and true friendship developing.  I mean, most of the moms I know agree that leaving for college children develop this 'tude the summer post-graduation.  It is to help us pack them up and move them out.  And to prevent us from missing them too terribly.  They are so full of themselves and their emerging adult self.  I spend time daily reminding him that I own the home, car, clothes and food that they call their own and yes he is still expected to do chores and help out.

However, this summer he's the oldest in the house as College Boy is living on campus, working on campus.  He is my go-to guy for support.  And he's a delight, I enjoy him.  Of course, my anxiety is blossoming.  I didn't realize until BFF Phil kept checking in on me both days that we were gaming this week.  "Are you okay?  Are you sure?"  On the second day I had an epiphany.  I am tired.  Easy to explain, I'm not sleeping.  AH!  I'M NOT SLEEPING AND I AM TIRED!  AH HA!  Anxiety about him is concealed in my subconscious.  See I talk the good talk.  "Yes, this is an exciting time for him!"  "Oh, this school is going to be a good fit for him!" "Sure, let's go shopping and get all the stuff you need!"  I am UBER positive about this new chapter that he'll be writing in the story of his life.  He's going to do and experience marvelous, fabulous new things!  I mean he is, right!?  But, deep inside, the anxiety lurks.  What if the roommates are druggies that suck him into their hazy world?  What if his depression emerges, claiming hold of his soul and preventing him from succeeding?  What if the first time he goes to a frat party he drinks himself to death?  What if he blows this opportunity to be all he can be?  I guess these thoughts are just under the surface of my everyday positive self, creating a state of insomnia.  I am remembering driving home, alone, from dropping College Boy off.  I cried and cried and cried at 75 miles per hour terrified that in the night, his roommate would murder him.  I know, that isn't a rational thought, but it was MY thought and fear and reality of the moment.  Of course, that young man just locked him out so he could have sex with young stupid women to whom he wasn't committed.

In the next 20 days, Teen Boy will work and enjoy time with friends.  I'm going on vacation with LRHB; a week of fabulous fun.  And yet, I'll be fighting the demons inside.  In the end, I will win, but it will be a sincere struggle as I remain strong for the little boy that will become an only child, supportive for the one starting a new life and empathetic towards Hero Daddy who won't know how to express his angst.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

In the good old Summertime...

This past weekend marked the halfway point of summer for our family.  I decided to focus on the fun things we've accomplished already and posted those on FB.  I am so, so happy to say that this action spurred others to post the same!  I know that FB is usually full of only happy news, requests of prayers or happy news and that I just contributed to that perpetual happiness, but shouldn't there be a place to celebrate life!? The day in and day out of summer vacation is often filled with TOO MUCH TOGETHERNESS and getting on nerves and doldrums.  However, there is NO HOMEWORK!  And in our case, fewer activities to keep up with.  We have a daily routine that involves being out of the house almost every single moment, but this helps us thrive.  I love the lazy hot days of summertime... afternoons at the pool.  Morning errands.  A few chores around the house to catch up on what escapes us the rest of the year.  And the following:
"What have you been doing with your summer? We have finished 6 weeks of kids home and have 6 more weeks to go. Been to bingo, karaoke, Rockies, an overnighter in Denver, sick, working out, pool, lunch, drinking wine, outdoor movies, tennis, bowling alley & laser tag, and swim practices/meets. And I've read 20 books in 37 days. I LOVE the summertime!"

Happy Summer!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Book 23, 24, 25...42

That's RIGHT book fans... I've read 20 books in 37 days.  Most have 200+ pages.  I've really done very little else.  Certainly not been blogging, although I was blogging nearly daily while I did the 14 Day Challenge (  Certainly not resolving except to read and read and read!

I mentioned that a fellow reader passed me a book that would be entertaining though not educational and I discovered that it was book 2 in a series of TWENTY!  And that my mommy mentioned the very same author when visiting...kismet.  So I tried book one from the Library, the title of the Series:  Virgin River and I was totally hooked!  Here is the author's website with the entire 20 books from this series:

It was like reading a daytime drama.  New characters came along, but old ones were revisited, sometimes with expansions of their original tales.  Romance.  Characters you would like to call friends in a town that although fictional, we all wish truly existed.  I was slightly afraid that they would get repetitive, but each story had its own direction, its own creative turns and twists.  Yes, detailed sex scenes.  I won't lie; it is probably "R" rated writing during those scenes.  But I couldn't put my Nook down except to download the next tale and the next and the next until all 20 were finished as of this afternoon.  

I have a couple other books around to read, but I really feel like I need to come up for air and connect with my life.  However, it has been great while it lasted.  Here's to Hero Daddy who didn't say ONCE all WEEKEND as I was plugged in reading, "Don't you have anything else you should be doing?"  I guess cause I put great meals on everyday, I was off the hook.  And did I mention I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!