Missing...

Right now, missing is the theme of the moment...

1. I am missing having my writing time.
2. I am missing my purplest friend cause our schedules just clash.
3. I am missing having been here for sweet LM with all that she's been going through.
4. I am missing a piece of my heart for my cousin who lost the love of her life.
5. I am missing a piece of my heart for my aunt who lived a fabulous life and has gone home to heaven. 
6. I am missing a piece of my heart for sweet LM who lost her mom, suddenly.
7. I am missing my mom, but told her that it was okay if she couldn't come.
8. I am missing my brothers' intact families and mourning that loss.
9. I am missing my sweet college boy who may not come home this summer and that's okay cause I'm supposed to grow him up and out.
10. I am missing afternoons with Teen Boy cause I'm working.
11. I am missing feeling on top of the world or at least my household chores.
12. I am missing sleep.
13. I am missing me and my sunny personality.

I am thankful though.  For my husband.  My children.  My parents and my in-laws.  I am thankful for dear friends that are just there when you need them to make you coffee and let you cry.  I am thankful for my job, my work kids, my work family.  I am thankful for my health, and those around me in good health.  I am thankful that I have faith.  I am thankful for friends that care for your children when you can't.  And friends that spend the day with you at a farmers market and playing games. 

I felt compelled to be thankful for as many things as I complained about.  Interestingly enough, that list was also easier to compile. 

So God has a sense of humor... I've known this for a long time, but each time it is revealed to me, it makes me want to share.  Someone (else) I know lost someone.  It is painful for them because even though their relationship wasn't easy, it was important to my someone and her someones and their someones.  There is a third party in their life.  She, too, has a tough relationship with the person I know.  That third party goes through life seemingly unhappy with her life (which of course you know quite quickly when you meet them).  So Lord, why call home the important person and not the third party person?  That third party doesn't have all of those important relationships?  I have returned to this ugly thought several times in the last week.  I know, I can be awful.  As I said, though, God has a sense of humor.  I get to hang out with the third party.  Me.  The one wishing her dead.  Loud and clear, Lord, I hear your message and will learn to do YOUR will, not mine.  But I will do it laughing.  Irony, huh.